I'm having a hard time tonight. I have been surrounded by babies the past couple days, and it's really getting to me. I want another baby so badly, it just kills me that I can't. I had my tubes tied a couple years ago. It was that, or risk another bad pregnancy, which means risking a sick or dead baby or me. My kidneys barely survived the two I have!
I know I should just be grateful for the two I have, and I AM!!! I really, truly am grateful to have two such amazing, sweet, smart, funny, beautiful kids. But I have always wanted three. I still feel like there is one more boy waiting to be a Watson. I want Randy to be around for the entire babyhood of at least one kid!
I hate knowing that the reason I am not having another one is because of MY medical problems. I feel like a failure for not being able to have more.
I LOVE MY KIDS. I just wish I could have one more though! So I am crying a little tonight, mourning the one I lost (miscarriage almost 7 years ago) and the one I will never get to have now.
3 comments:
(((HUGS)))
From someone who knows how you feel- but in a slightly different way....
God works in mysterious ways, someday you will got your other one, just not how you expected it. But it is so hard to have your babies growing and see and smell little ones. I would keep having them if they stayed babies. Lots of love!
The last time I was baby hungry...I got Parker. So I always tell people, NOT TO DO IT, cuz they smell good, and are cute!!
I know what you mean though. Parker was 5 before we had Emma, But I always knew we'd have 3. Now...I NEVER thought we'd have 4!!!
Amy is right, God works in mysterious ways. Your still young! You never know what can happen in 10 years!! You just never know. Patience is a virtue my dear... I KNOW you know that.
I'm sorry you are hurting!
(((((HUGS)))))
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