Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Fibromyalgia Syndrome

I wish people who doubt my fibromyalgia could spend one day in my body. I cannot describe well enough what it is like, but I'm going to try.
My muscles ache. Just touching parts of my back, arms, shoulders, and legs causes me pain. Walking up and down stairs burns my legs with an intensity you would not believe. People who attempt to massage my back often cannot tell the difference between my bones and my muscles, they are so tight. Some days, there is just no such thing as a comfortable position. I am not in massive pain every single day, but I am in pain somewhere all the time. On my really bad days, I lie around crying and taking massive heavy-duty anti-inflammatories. I can't convince my doctor that I need some pain relievers, at least for the worst days.
I am exhausted. It does not matter if I get 7 hours of sleep or 10. I don't sleep well through the night, even with the aid of sleeping pills. I can nap twice a day with no problem (although, I don't). A lot of the time, I feel much the way someone on drowsy antihistamines feels .
I get random headaches. They aren't as frequent as they used to be, but they are severe when they do come. It starts in my forehead and goes into my eyeballs, and then spreads along my jaw to the back of my neck. My neck will get so HEAVY, like I can't support my head any more. Then I see a sheen in front of everything, like when you first go outside on a super sunny day after being in the dark for a while. On the days this all happens, I get dizzy too, and can't stand for more than a minute or two.
I have IBS, which is often attributed to FMS. There are days when it feels like my stomach is collapsing in on itself, and it hits so fast and hard that I have to sit and crouch over in a whimpering ball.
I have depression, also often linked to FMS.
My periods involve some awesomely bad pain.
My fingers and wrists burn horribly right now... just from typing this.
I live with this everyday.
But there are those who say I am just lazy, or a hypochondriac. Even my own doctor doubts the reality of this disease. Yet again, I say, I wish the doubters could live one day in my body. Then perhaps they would understand why my house is usually a mess!!

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sorry to read that you are having a tough time....

Candace said...

I am so sorry to hear about your experience. I am glad though that you are using this as a way to communicate what you are dealing with.

I know growing up with my mother, who has MS, it was so hard to understand what she is/was going through. I once tried to explain to my MIL that my mother is in constant pain.

My mother can not remember a time when she was not dealing with some sort of pain or numbness. Because there is nothing visible "wrong", no one seems to understand what you are experiencing. You have no way of knowing what you are up against each day.

Keep your head up (if you can) and rest up. Know that I am thinking of you.

Anonymous said...

Maybe it is time to find a new doctor? My bro has been happy with his new one, they are actually who suggested FMS. It sucks. Chronic pain sucks! I at least have a glimmer of hope when I have my procedures but I know that you are facing a life of this. I am sorry you are having some rough times. Love Ya!

Danielle said...

Oh believe me, Amy, the second I have insurance again, I am off to a clinic that specializes in FMS!! lol
I love my doctor, he is just very old-fashioned and doesn't give much credence to FMS. He put me on the anti-inflammatory for my arthritis, and it does help the rest, just not enough sometimes.
Jenny knows of a good clinic, I'll probably check it out.

Anonymous said...

Here ya on the insurance! It certainly limits your choices not having an easy way to pay.

Anonymous said...

sorry sis.
that sucks.
gentle hugs.
V

Sarah said...

My sister has it (the one that couldn't find your house LOL) and it is life altering. Hope you get insurance soon.