tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4909254356036780742024-03-14T00:58:14.373-07:00I am woman, hear me snore!Living between that
rock and the hard place.Daniellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16406252550859669192noreply@blogger.comBlogger33125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-490925435603678074.post-56503376148553157672014-07-27T00:07:00.000-07:002014-07-27T00:07:14.237-07:00I danced last night...It was a dream. It was a beautiful, passionate, soul filled dream. I enter the stage, music flowing through me. Grande Jete en croix, glisse, pique, pique, pas de chat, pirouette. Gliding, soaring. I AM the music. I show the music to the world, with grace and heart-wrenching power. On I go, faster and faster, a whirling dervish, my toes and the stage becoming best friends.<br />
<br />
And the music stops. I fall to the floor in the darkness, bewildered and lost. I am no longer the music. I am no longer the dance.<br />
<br />
I woke up in tears.<br />
<br />
And my toes hurt, and my calves were sore.<br />
<br />
<br />Daniellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16406252550859669192noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-490925435603678074.post-73154172331840518442010-07-12T21:11:00.000-07:002010-07-12T21:16:07.411-07:00LifeIt can be so complicated sometimes, can't it? Often the complications are brought on by our own stupidity. Sometimes, they are a result of things we have no control over, like diseases and illnesses. I have tried for years now to overcome my constant depression, mood swings, irritability, insecurities, feelings of inadequecy, abandonment...<br />I was diagnosed by a psychiatrist last year as having bilpolar II. Something about that just has never sat quite right with me. Much of the diagnosis made sense, but much did not. Now, I finally know why: it would appear I have something else, something related but more psychological and less physical. I am seeing another therapist soon, and I am pretty sure I will come back with a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder. Having gone over all the diagnostic criterion, this fits me like a glove. The good news is, it's treatable with talk therapy, and it can be overcome. One less thing to take meds for! Hooray! *sigh* At least there is hope of getting rid of ONE of my many ailments. Right?Daniellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16406252550859669192noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-490925435603678074.post-43998932539328492172010-06-28T18:00:00.000-07:002010-06-28T18:17:08.839-07:00English EducationWe live in America, but the language we speak is English. Well, ok, most of us speak it. I am tired of people not being able to get the most basic skills down. Here is a crash course in English, aimed towards errors I see on a daily basis. They make me want to scream! It's not that difficult, people!<br /><br />their: belonging to them (It is their inability to pay attention that keeps people from learning this stuff.)<br /><br />there: a place, a word to denote placement (There is a big dictionary right over there.)<br /><br />they're: a contraction for "they are" (They're letting our children become ignorant.)<br /><br />your: possessive form of you (Your laziness is driving me crazy.)<br /><br />you're: a contraction for "you are" (You're the cause of much contention.)<br /><br />its: belonging to it (Its color is true and intensely beautiful.)<br /><br />it's: a contraction for "it is" (It's not the first time; won't be the last.)<br /><br />allot: to divide or distribute; to appropriate for a special purpose (I am going to allot ten dollars to the diabetes research fund.)<br /><br />a lot: many of something (There are a lot of times where people say "alot", which is incorrect.)<br /><br />One does not go acrossed anything. I crossed the bridge, I went across the bridge, I did not go acrossed it because there is no such word.<br /><br />Use of apostrophes: This is a big one. An apostrophe before an s is used to denote ownership. For example: Sarah's dog tried to bite my foot. The apostrophe comes AFTER the s if the s is part of the word already. The kids' room is always a mess. (More than one kid, plural, plus ownership.) An apostrophe is also a requirement when contracting a word with is or was. Sarah's always looking for a new pet. More proper ways of using an apostrophe: it'd (for it did, it would) we're (we are, we were) 'cause (short for because) '90 (for 1990).<br /><br />Use of then and than: then is used for referring to time. (I liked it then.) Than is most used for comparison statements. (I like almonds more than peanuts.) Then let's go! I'd rather eat rocks than eat lead.<br /><br />I will post more English lessons later as I am reminded of more common errors.Daniellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16406252550859669192noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-490925435603678074.post-74208701693373862502010-06-26T16:18:00.000-07:002010-06-26T16:21:47.148-07:00New Meds Suck!I started my depakote and kidney med together. Bad idea; I have been having uber bad dizzy spells, blackouts, tunnel vision... and this morning I awoke to a VERY angry stomach that was letting me know its feelings in every way possible. I am going to stop the depakote for now, until I adjust to the kidney med, then add it in.<br />I'm going to go sing karaoke tonight! I'm excited, I love doing that. I'm so tired of not getting much of a chance to sing. So, I am working yet again on putting together a band. I have had a few replies so far. We'll see how it goes this time around. It's so hard to put together a solid band, and keeping them together is almost impossible!<br />If you haven't yet, check out the recipe below and try it out. I need feedback for my future cookbook.Daniellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16406252550859669192noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-490925435603678074.post-4282273651062187262010-06-25T17:57:00.000-07:002010-06-25T18:18:09.707-07:00Recipe of the Week<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Njjjnz_XOtM/TCVVLXTzqZI/AAAAAAAAAEY/hfaHlRXRxAo/s1600/2010-06-23+20.02.31.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 240px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5486885374744832402" border="0" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Njjjnz_XOtM/TCVVLXTzqZI/AAAAAAAAAEY/hfaHlRXRxAo/s320/2010-06-23+20.02.31.jpg" /></a><br /><div>I am going to attempt to post a new recipe each week. These will be in the manuscript for my cookbook, so please test them and give me honest feedback. The premise of my cookbook will be teaching people who don't really cook to do it, do it well, and without everything being measured exactly. In other words, it will be <em>Epic Noms for the Cooking Noob: Deliciousness Using the 5 Senses.</em> So, without further ado, here it is:</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Cheesey Stuffed Chicken Breasts</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>5-6 boneless, skinless large chicken breasts</div><br /><div>1 12 oz container Ricotta cheese</div><br /><div>6 strips bacon, cooked, chopped small (SAVE THE GREASE!)</div><br /><div>Italian herbs (jar of them, won't use the whole jar, you'll see)</div><br /><div>Granulate garlic</div><br /><div>freshly ground sea salt and fresh ground pepper</div><br /><div>1 medium green or red pepper</div><br /><div>1 medium onion</div><br /><div>Shredded provolone/mozarella cheese (comes in bags in the store)</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Chop the pepper and onion into small pieces and throw in a large skillet with the bacon grease (no more than a couple tablespoons worth; if you don't have that much, use butter). Cook at medium, stirring occasionally, until they become golden and look soft. Use a slotted spoon to scoop them out of the pan. Turn heat off. As they cool, take the ricotta, bacon, and Italian seasoning and mix. I use between 2-3 tsps of the seasoning. Taste, add more or salt and pepper as you like. Add the veggies in. Turn your heat back on under your skillet. Take each breast and slice through the middle, but not all the way through. (Butterflied.) Stuff the breasts. Place in pan. Salt, pepper, and garlic the top of them. Cover and cook about 20 minutes. In the meanwhile, preheat the oven to 350'. When chicken has been cooking for 20, sprinkle generously with the shredded cheese. Place in oven for 10 minutes. Turn oven to broil and WATCH CAREFULLY. Remove as soon as the cheese starts to get bubbly and golden. ENJOY!!</div><br /><div></div>Daniellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16406252550859669192noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-490925435603678074.post-39841842867132854652010-06-22T10:47:00.000-07:002010-06-22T20:15:05.676-07:00My cocktailI am currently on the following meds:<br />2 kinds of insulin (diabetes)<br />diclofenac (arthritis)<br />cyclobenzaprine (fibromyalgia)<br />lamictal (bipolar)<br /><br />I am going on:<br />depakote (switching the bipolar med)<br />ACE inhibitor (kidney damage)<br />Actonel (early stage osteoporosis)<br /><br />Eventually, when the blood sugar is under tight control, we will be adding Abilify (for the bipolar and fibromyalgia).<br /><br />I am still exhausted, still in pain, still having mood swings. Someday, we'll get it down perfectly. Fun times.Daniellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16406252550859669192noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-490925435603678074.post-44878990064397054252010-06-20T10:39:00.001-07:002010-06-20T10:48:04.889-07:00FathersI have heard the expression, "Any man can be a father; it takes a real man to be a dad" more times than I can remember. I have found over the years that it is so very true. My husband is one of those cool men that is a daddy. My kids love him so much! They get so excited when he comes home from work. They are so happy when he plays with them. To this day, my favorite thing to hear is the sound of them laughing and squealing while they play with him. 8 years now he's been a daddy. From the moment Julia was born, he was in love. I remember when we were finally able to hold her, after a week and a half or so of her birth. He was holding her and just smiling. I asked for her back... and he looked at me with this almost fearful expression. He pulled her closer to him and said, "No! MY Julia time!" I also remember when he came home from basic training. Nathaniel was 7 weeks old when he left; he came home to a 5 month old, moving, grooving, laughing baby. That first night, about 1 in the morning, Nathaniel woke up. He NEVER woke up at night by then. He woke up though, and I went to get him. He and Randy were up for an hour and half, getting to know each other again and enjoying every minute. Randy is so good them. He is so gentle with Julia when she is undergoing more surgery or is so worn out from therapy, karate, school, whatever. He hates so much that she has to have a g-tube, but for nearly 5 years now, except for his deployment, he has been the one to hook up her feedings, stop them, check the machine, etc. Even at 4 in the morning, there he is, making sure she's getting what she needs and letting me sleep. I also love watching him with Nathaniel. Their favorite thing to do is play video games together, and it is awesome!<br />When I am old, and have dementia, and can't remember my own name, I hope I will remember Randy with the kids. Especially those first two memories I mentioned... they make my heart happy.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />'Daniellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16406252550859669192noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-490925435603678074.post-35406483843639474952010-06-19T15:04:00.000-07:002010-06-19T15:06:04.405-07:00I'm BACK!Oh my goodness, I have missed blogging so much! I couldn't remember my information to get on here, but I stumbled upon it, and here I be! I won't have long posts; my arthritic/fibromyalgic hands won't allow it. I will most likely post poetry and song lyrics sometimes, like I did on my old one. This will be so therapeutic, I am so excited! Um, yeah, hands are already hurting, so.... stay posted! I'll be back!Daniellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16406252550859669192noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-490925435603678074.post-88324144122502293472007-12-26T14:16:00.001-08:002007-12-26T14:23:57.061-08:00OK, so it's been awhile...What a great holiday we just had! My kids got a whole new bedroom! Two of their walls were painted a pale robin's egg blue. Julia got a new Disney princesses bed, complete with bedding and canopy. She also got a 6-bin princess toy cart and rocking chair, both match her bed. Nathaniel got the same set-up, including canopy, with a Pixar Cars theme. They got lots of toys and jammies that match. It is so cool! If i can find my stupid cord, I'll hook up my digital cam and post some pics.<br />I was spoiled this year. I got two awesome cook books, a set of Mario Batali measuring/prep cups, a new George Foreman 5-in-1 grill (the awesome new one), a chocolate fondue fountain (do we see a theme here??), and a FABULOUS new set of gardening tools from my dad. Also got a bunch of stuff from Bath and Body Works in my current favorite sent, which were in my stocking. Very nice.<br />I'm so excited, my sister Megan and her two girls are flying in tomorrow morning!! I haven't seen them since the moved 2 years ago, and I have missed them like crazy! SO happy. Dad paid to fly them here, he is being such a better dad these days.<br />All in all, a terrific Christmas. I am so grateful for my family. I am so glad that we all LIKE spending time with each other!Daniellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16406252550859669192noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-490925435603678074.post-29974749243536458832007-11-11T22:03:00.000-08:002007-11-11T22:10:13.006-08:00I can't believe it!I've been watching The Next Iron Chef religiously, so of course I watched the finale tonight. I love Michael Symon, but I was so sure it would be John Besh! I think Symon is a total hottie, but I just love Besh's style. So I'm kinda bummed. It will be fun to see Symon's first few battles though.<br />And has anyone else who watches it noticed that almost nobody ever battles Cat Cora? Too bad, she's pretty good. I like her Mediterranean style. <br />So now I'm watching the battle I've wanted to see ever since I heard about it: Rachel Ray and Giada de Laurentis. I know who wins, which again was a HUGE surprise, but I want to see the battle. I am so boring. It's the only reality TV I watch really.Daniellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16406252550859669192noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-490925435603678074.post-60302602759689053652007-11-01T11:00:00.000-07:002007-11-01T15:29:43.938-07:00Halloween is over, Thanksgiving can begin!!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Njjjnz_XOtM/RyoWa8CgeCI/AAAAAAAAACk/EhIpRrjrgkA/s1600-h/scarymonkey1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Njjjnz_XOtM/RyoWa8CgeCI/AAAAAAAAACk/EhIpRrjrgkA/s320/scarymonkey1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5127935777763784738" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Njjjnz_XOtM/RyoWi8CgeDI/AAAAAAAAACs/t5nBP_jaVAo/s1600-h/scarymonkey2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Njjjnz_XOtM/RyoWi8CgeDI/AAAAAAAAACs/t5nBP_jaVAo/s320/scarymonkey2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5127935915202738226" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Njjjnz_XOtM/RyoVjcCgd9I/AAAAAAAAAB8/BCbt2tK59Vg/s1600-h/P1010090.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Njjjnz_XOtM/RyoVjcCgd9I/AAAAAAAAAB8/BCbt2tK59Vg/s320/P1010090.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5127934824281044946" border="0" /></a>My little elf and witch!!<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Njjjnz_XOtM/RyoVlcCgd-I/AAAAAAAAACE/kOLCS7o_H_U/s1600-h/P1010089.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Njjjnz_XOtM/RyoVlcCgd-I/AAAAAAAAACE/kOLCS7o_H_U/s320/P1010089.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5127934858640783330" border="0" /></a>My monkey! aka, my nephew Raedin!<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Njjjnz_XOtM/RyoVmMCgd_I/AAAAAAAAACM/4Upzdi1CzH0/s1600-h/P1010088.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Njjjnz_XOtM/RyoVmMCgd_I/AAAAAAAAACM/4Upzdi1CzH0/s320/P1010088.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5127934871525685234" border="0" /></a>I love being the naughty aunt! And Raedin loves Cheetos!<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Njjjnz_XOtM/RyoVn8CgeAI/AAAAAAAAACU/DL4q2SzlZnQ/s1600-h/P1010087.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Njjjnz_XOtM/RyoVn8CgeAI/AAAAAAAAACU/DL4q2SzlZnQ/s320/P1010087.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5127934901590456322" border="0" /></a>My bil, Nate, helping Nathaniel make orange and clove Jack-o-lanterns.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Njjjnz_XOtM/RyoVo8CgeBI/AAAAAAAAACc/UG7dMFUcA9Q/s1600-h/P1010086.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Njjjnz_XOtM/RyoVo8CgeBI/AAAAAAAAACc/UG7dMFUcA9Q/s320/P1010086.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5127934918770325522" border="0" /></a>My buddy, Raedin, and my brother.<br /><br /><br />I love this time of year!!! I love the cool but still mostly sunny weather, the leaves, the crisp air, the gorgeous sunsets over the mountains! I love Thanksgiving. I love the idea behind it, the decorations, the food!! I get so sickened when there is Christmas stuff up with the Halloween stuff, and somehow, except for the food, Thanksgiving gets left by the wayside. I do, however, LOVE Christmas. Just not until AFTER Thanksgiving, thank you very much!<br />Anywho, here are some pictures of our Halloween. I didn't get as many as I would have liked, but I will have some soon (hopefully!) from my sister and brother, so I will post those too. Enjoy!Daniellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16406252550859669192noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-490925435603678074.post-37253724141183691452007-10-28T19:41:00.000-07:002007-10-28T19:47:11.798-07:00Baby tearsI'm having a hard time tonight. I have been surrounded by babies the past couple days, and it's really getting to me. I want another baby so badly, it just kills me that I can't. I had my tubes tied a couple years ago. It was that, or risk another bad pregnancy, which means risking a sick or dead baby or me. My kidneys barely survived the two I have!<br />I know I should just be grateful for the two I have, and I AM!!! I really, truly am grateful to have two such amazing, sweet, smart, funny, beautiful kids. But I have always wanted three. I still feel like there is one more boy waiting to be a Watson. I want Randy to be around for the entire babyhood of at least one kid!<br />I hate knowing that the reason I am not having another one is because of MY medical problems. I feel like a failure for not being able to have more.<br />I LOVE MY KIDS. I just wish I could have one more though! So I am crying a little tonight, mourning the one I lost (miscarriage almost 7 years ago) and the one I will never get to have now.Daniellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16406252550859669192noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-490925435603678074.post-18862431404275677072007-10-25T16:33:00.000-07:002007-10-25T16:51:51.404-07:00FMS Part III don't want people feeling sorry for me. That is not my intent in blogging about this. Rather, I want people who may doubt the reality of fibromyalgia to get a glimpse of what it's like for those of us with it.<br />My symptoms started so long ago, it's been part of my life for at least half my life. I remember as a teenager, when it wasn't too bad yet, wondering why it was that doing a simple aerobics routine or swing dancing for more than a few minutes was so painful and difficult for me sometimes. I couldn't understand why I would wake up on some days ands just HURT and be too exhausted to do anything. I often attributed it to my diabetes, for lack of anything else, but it didn't make sense to even think it was that, because the PAIN didn't match diabetes issues.<br />The summer Julia was born was when it really hit hard. I had some very horrible days, and although I saw a doctor in my clinic, and one in the ER, and one in Instacare, nobody could tell me why I had this weird sheen in my vision, or why I was so dizzy, or why going up the stairs at the water park made me think I just might die from the burning in my legs. One doctor tried telling me it was from having a low blood sugar. I looked at him (this is totally true) and said, "I've been diabetic longer than you've been a doctor. I have been diabetic since you were in middle school. I THINK by now I would KNOW if it was low blood sugar." Needless to say, they wouldn't prescribe anything to help, for fear I was just out for drugs to feed an addiction.<br />It was so frustrating to go so long with no answers. I remember sitting in my doctor's office and telling him the sensation in my legs when I went up stairs was like... something was <span style="font-style: italic;">missing</span>, some chemical or something, because they just didn't work right. I just didn't know how else to describe it! He was clueless.<br />I saw a doctor at the same clinic last February, I think it was. I took in a full list of my many, many ailments, and said, "I am <span style="font-weight: bold;">not making this up</span>." She ran a bunch of tests to rule out other things, like thyroid (I've had that done at least 15 times in the past 10 years), lupus, and hormonal imbalance issues. When those were ruled out, fibromyalgia was her diagnosis. She warned me it would be very hard to get care for it, especially to get insurance to pay for treatment. She told me there was not much that could be done from a medical standpoint, unless I wanted to get hooked on pain pills (which I most emphatically do NOT). She prescribed an antidepressant that helps the nerves calm down and not "feel" as much pain. It worked, to a degree. The normal days were better. (Normal means there is pain, but I am so used to it that I don't notice until someone touches me or tries to massage me. On normal days, I can play with my kids for more than 5 minutes without needing a nap.) I was able, at that time, to go to water aerobics (very gentle), and also got weekly massages from a woman who was specially trained in massage for FMS patients. For a few months, I felt so much better!<br />Now, I have no insurance and no time or money for the gym or massages. So I live with it. It is part of my life now, as much as Julia's issues are a part of my life. I don't like it, but I deal with it. After all, what other choice do I have?Daniellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16406252550859669192noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-490925435603678074.post-8709031593396861382007-10-24T13:11:00.000-07:002007-10-24T13:28:57.523-07:00Fibromyalgia SyndromeI wish people who doubt my fibromyalgia could spend one day in my body. I cannot describe well enough what it is like, but I'm going to try.<br />My muscles ache. Just touching parts of my back, arms, shoulders, and legs causes me pain. Walking up and down stairs burns my legs with an intensity you would not believe. People who attempt to massage my back often cannot tell the difference between my bones and my muscles, they are so tight. Some days, there is just no such thing as a comfortable position. I am not in massive pain every single day, but I am in pain somewhere all the time. On my really bad days, I lie around crying and taking massive heavy-duty anti-inflammatories. I can't convince my doctor that I need some pain relievers, at least for the worst days.<br />I am exhausted. It does not matter if I get 7 hours of sleep or 10. I don't sleep well through the night, even with the aid of sleeping pills. I can nap twice a day with no problem (although, I don't). A lot of the time, I feel much the way someone on drowsy antihistamines feels .<br />I get random headaches. They aren't as frequent as they used to be, but they are severe when they do come. It starts in my forehead and goes into my eyeballs, and then spreads along my jaw to the back of my neck. My neck will get so HEAVY, like I can't support my head any more. Then I see a sheen in front of everything, like when you first go outside on a super sunny day after being in the dark for a while. On the days this all happens, I get dizzy too, and can't stand for more than a minute or two.<br />I have IBS, which is often attributed to FMS. There are days when it feels like my stomach is collapsing in on itself, and it hits so fast and hard that I have to sit and crouch over in a whimpering ball.<br />I have depression, also often linked to FMS.<br />My periods involve some awesomely bad pain.<br />My fingers and wrists burn horribly right now... just from typing this.<br />I live with this everyday.<br />But there are those who say I am just lazy, or a hypochondriac. Even my own doctor doubts the reality of this disease. Yet again, I say, I wish the doubters could live one day in my body. Then perhaps they would understand why my house is usually a mess!!Daniellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16406252550859669192noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-490925435603678074.post-56917328403357546232007-10-23T11:31:00.000-07:002007-10-23T18:40:08.291-07:00It's a question we avoid...<deleted>***deleted at request of blog-owner's husband***<deleted></deleted></deleted>Daniellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16406252550859669192noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-490925435603678074.post-78437335924795738182007-10-10T16:21:00.000-07:002007-10-10T16:28:25.835-07:00Been taggedSo, although no one will probably see it, here is my list, courtesy of Lisa!<br /><br />10 things I save on, 10 things I splurge on:<br /><br />SAVE<br />1. milk<br />2. gas<br />3. canned goods<br />4. meat<br />(all courtesy of Costco)<br />5. dates (matinee movie, here I come!)<br />6. books (membership at FYE/Borders)<br />7. clothes (I like second hand stores)<br />8. shoes (Payless clearance)<br />9. utilities (included in rent!)<br />10. basil! (LOVE it, so I grow my own!)<br /><br />SPLURGE<br />1. eating out (if someone else is cooking, it might as well be good!!)<br />2. smoked salmon (just gotta have it sometimes!)<br />3. cook ware<br />4. small appliances<br />5. cooking utensils<br />6. beverages<br />7. specialty spices<br />8. PCMC fundraisers<br />9. Halloween<br />10. CHRISTMAS!!Daniellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16406252550859669192noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-490925435603678074.post-1248375575798521412007-09-12T16:44:00.001-07:002007-09-12T16:51:34.148-07:00A little late, but here they are! 1st Day Preschool!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Njjjnz_XOtM/Ruh6pah1OlI/AAAAAAAAAA0/CpwRJOzNwCE/s1600-h/P1010075.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Njjjnz_XOtM/Ruh6pah1OlI/AAAAAAAAAA0/CpwRJOzNwCE/s320/P1010075.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5109468629166275154" border="0" /></a>Big world, here I come! With my handy nametag attached, of course...<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Njjjnz_XOtM/Ruh6p6h1OmI/AAAAAAAAAA8/9SQWwvmcR6I/s1600-h/P1010076.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Njjjnz_XOtM/Ruh6p6h1OmI/AAAAAAAAAA8/9SQWwvmcR6I/s320/P1010076.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5109468637756209762" border="0" /></a>DEEP breath, mommy!<br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Njjjnz_XOtM/Ruh6qKh1OnI/AAAAAAAAABE/HvzTDoervl0/s1600-h/P1010077.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Njjjnz_XOtM/Ruh6qKh1OnI/AAAAAAAAABE/HvzTDoervl0/s320/P1010077.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5109468642051177074" border="0" /></a>WOW, that's a loooooong hallway for such a little boy to walk!<br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Njjjnz_XOtM/Ruh6qqh1OoI/AAAAAAAAABM/TXwWf43dqu0/s1600-h/P1010079.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Njjjnz_XOtM/Ruh6qqh1OoI/AAAAAAAAABM/TXwWf43dqu0/s320/P1010079.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5109468650641111682" border="0" /></a><br />Hey sissy, you can go now. I'm gonna be great!Daniellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16406252550859669192noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-490925435603678074.post-48023187658976832612007-08-29T09:23:00.001-07:002007-08-29T09:27:30.223-07:001st day of school!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Njjjnz_XOtM/RtWeGQP_CII/AAAAAAAAAAU/N5CKHHwlxfw/s1600-h/P1010065.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Njjjnz_XOtM/RtWeGQP_CII/AAAAAAAAAAU/N5CKHHwlxfw/s320/P1010065.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5104159582972741762" border="0" /></a>First day, here I come!<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Njjjnz_XOtM/RtWeGwP_CJI/AAAAAAAAAAc/OUd5Ye8Iihs/s1600-h/P1010069.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Njjjnz_XOtM/RtWeGwP_CJI/AAAAAAAAAAc/OUd5Ye8Iihs/s320/P1010069.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5104159591562676370" border="0" /></a>Sissy, I'll miss you!<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Njjjnz_XOtM/RtWeKAP_CKI/AAAAAAAAAAk/wLRxVkrm71g/s1600-h/P1010070.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Njjjnz_XOtM/RtWeKAP_CKI/AAAAAAAAAAk/wLRxVkrm71g/s320/P1010070.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5104159647397251234" border="0" /></a>My girl's all grown up!<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Njjjnz_XOtM/RtWeKgP_CLI/AAAAAAAAAAs/qwKkygOFnDw/s1600-h/P1010071.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Njjjnz_XOtM/RtWeKgP_CLI/AAAAAAAAAAs/qwKkygOFnDw/s320/P1010071.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5104159655987185842" border="0" /></a>Name tag, don't fail me!Daniellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16406252550859669192noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-490925435603678074.post-79126613808440521962007-08-25T17:27:00.000-07:002007-08-25T17:33:00.172-07:00Life goes onIndeed it does, although we are often left scratching our heads and wondering why! Randy's grandma is still here with us. She isn't great, but she's still here for now. I really don't understand it, the way everyone back there in Atlanta was talking we thought it was only a matter of hours. Amazing.<br />Randy has a new job. He is landscaping and helping design and build one of the local major haunted things, a forest and a hollow and a house, all owned by the same guy. He also is working on the guy's regular landscaping crew.<br />Nathaniel has been approved for the Title 1 preschool. That basically means he isn't as up to speed with basic language and early reading skills as he should be. Not a big surprise, since his best friend is in serious speech therapy herself! I still feel kinda bad though, like I am failing him as a mother. But I am not real sad, I can't be! He is SO EXCITED to be going to school!! Seriously, he and Julia cannot WAIT. She starts on Monday, he starts on September 4th. He's gonna be pissed he doesn't get to go back when Sissy does!!Daniellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16406252550859669192noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-490925435603678074.post-69743052151802474482007-08-20T21:30:00.000-07:002007-08-20T21:32:56.927-07:00PrayRandy's grandma is dying. She had a massive stroke today and they are just waiting for the one that will end it. She's in Atlanta, so there is no way for him to get there to say goodbye. We have not seen her since right after we got married. She has never met the kids. He is having a really really hard time with it. She was his number one care giver for a long time when he was a baby, as his mom was in and out of the hospital undergoing chemo and things like that. She wanted to raise him after his mom died, but she knew she wouldn't be able to. Please pray for her, and pray for him. This is going to be the first loved one he's lost since he was a baby.Daniellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16406252550859669192noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-490925435603678074.post-20366676518868950882007-08-17T17:43:00.000-07:002007-08-17T17:51:50.490-07:00Blah blah blah...Randy was fired yesterday. I should be bawling and screaming and angry and scared. But in all reality, I am ok. I don't know what is going to happen, but somehow I know things will be ok. WE will be ok. We got a flier in the mail today about a local place that is hiring. It's not a glamorous job by any means; in fact, it really is crappy work. But it doesn't take much effort, it pays decently enough, and the hours are super flexible. Flexibility is what we need right now, with so many more appointments coming up in Salt Lake for both kids. Not sure if we can make it TO said appointments at this point though... the car isn't fixed yet. grrrr.<br />Julia is doing so well after her surgery!! She blows me away. I gave her Lortab once today, and that was to relax her enough to get her to drink a little! She's actually overly active, she's going to end up hurting herself if she keeps it up. I love this girly!Daniellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16406252550859669192noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-490925435603678074.post-44736460434180256332007-08-14T09:03:00.000-07:002007-08-14T09:10:06.657-07:00Damn used cars!We are much too poor to buy a new car, but we sure as hell can't afford the old piece of crud we have now! Our Mercury Myst(AKE) had the water pump go out yesterday. Randy is going to attempt to fix it tonight. I wish him the best, he's still getting over this bad stomach bug we've all had, plus he's never done a water pump before. The best part? Julia has surgery tomorrow... in Salt Lake... and we don't have a second car. Yay. I can't possible cancel her surgery again though, school starts next Monday and, I dunno, I think it might be nice if she could HEAR the teacher. Ya know? So I am sitting here waiting for the hospital to call me and tell me when she goes in, so I can arrange a ride if the car isn't fixed. Randy can't go up, he can't afford to miss more work. That blows. Also, the people who are supposed to be watching Nathaniel are not returning my calls. So everything is a big mess right now.Daniellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16406252550859669192noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-490925435603678074.post-73006945966881377652007-07-31T14:44:00.000-07:002007-07-31T14:53:23.434-07:00MusicMusic is probably my favorite thing in the world besides water. I love music of all different sorts. I am happy to sing a Baroque canon one day and a heavy metal song the next. Music <span style="font-style: italic;">speaks</span> to me. It emotes things for me that I can't always get out on my own. I will hear a song that just says everything I feel way down deep at any given moment and wish I'd been the one to write it! Not just lyrics do I love though. The actual music itself, the notes, the crescendos, the decrescendos, the allegros and andantes and everything that comes together to form a song... I love it! I love how music can <span style="font-weight: bold;">change</span> how I feel. If I am happy, a song can make me sad. If I am calm, a song can make me want to go out and party. Music make me happy, sad, angry, shy, excited, lonely, grateful, horny, shocked, you name it! Here are some artists/bands/composers that I really like:<br /><br />Sarah McLachlan<br />Pantera<br />Evanescence<br />Metallica<br />Mozart<br />Tchaikovsky<br />Handel<br />John Williams<br />Nickleback<br />Rob Thomas<br />Dido<br />Natalie MacMaster<br />Allison Krauss<br />Aaron Lewis (Staind)<br />Art Hatfield<br />Tori Amos<br />my Dad!<br />my Brother!<br /><br /><br />My goodness, there are so many, my fingers can't type as fast as my brain is thinking! There are tons more, I may post some of them later.Daniellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16406252550859669192noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-490925435603678074.post-67451683941138885152007-07-25T20:37:00.000-07:002007-07-25T20:45:28.327-07:00Viva Las Vegas!Or, as Julia has been singing, "Julia loves Vegas!"<br />Our trip was wonderful!! It was the first family vacation we have had, and it was so awesome. The conference was amazing, but since I'll be talking about it on my support groups, and since those are some of the only people who read this, I'll just stick to the vacation highlights here!<br />Julia and Nathaniel were so funny. They loved everything, and they are at an age where we didn't have to spend a lot of money for them to be happy! They were perfectly happy to just look at things. They about died of excitement when they got to ride the monorail and when they went in a "real" castle at the Excalibur. Julia really dug the Egyptian stuff at the Luxor. Of course, they both adored the pirate ships at the Treasure Island. We didn't get to see the show there, because the wind was too bad, but that was the only downside the whole trip really (except for some super bad weather that forced us to pull over in Beaver for a bit, making our return time 2:30 in the morning). The water show at the Bellagio came at a perfect time, as we were getting kinda hot and tired at that point. We went up and down almost the whole strip. We used the trams and monorail a lot, and drove down back streets whenever possible, so we really didn't run into too much bad traffic. We also indulged in In n Out burger! BUT the highlight, for me anyway, was going to Siegfried and Roy's Secret Garden and Dolphin Pavilion. It cost money, but we saved a lot in other areas so we could go. It was awesome! There is a baby dolphin there, named Sgt. Pepper! He was so very cute and playful! The tigers and lions were beautiful, their habitats are really nice!<br />Overall we had a fantastic time, I hope they do the conference there again next year!Daniellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16406252550859669192noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-490925435603678074.post-60208592418830934622007-07-17T14:15:00.000-07:002007-07-17T14:20:47.380-07:00If you love someone......DO NOT let them join the National Guard!! I am proud to be married to a soldier, I am proud of his reasons for joining, but by golly, I am NOT proud of the way they treat their soldiers!! After being promised he'd be paid by tomorrow, the NG has decided they have to go so far up the chain of command to fix THEIR mistake, it could be weeks before we get it!!<br />Now, if this was just a drill pay, it wouldn't be that big a deal. But we are talking 2 weeks of pay that we really need! We are in debt now as a result of not having it, and also it is now looking like we are going to have to cancel a VERY IMPORTANT trip to a conference in Las Vegas this weekend. We need to go to this!<br />The very worst part? This is NOT the first time his pay has been messed up!!!<br />Livid does not even describe how I am feeling. There is great anger, but also I am dejected, and hurt, and confused, and depressed, and worried, and disillusioned. What a travesty.Daniellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16406252550859669192noreply@blogger.com3